In fond memory of Granma

I spent the whole day in bed today... Feelin very unwell... Caught up on much needed sleep & finally had time to do some reading.

I was drying my hair after my shower & all of a sudden, I thought of my granma. Each time after she combed her hair, she would pick up any hair that fell out from the floor. I felt a pang of sadness & regret. Sad that I will never ever see her again (why does everyone need to die? Why do we need to be separated by death?!) & regret coz I feel I didn't do more for her or with her when she was alive. And these feelings really suck coz there's nothin to be done anymore for her except visit her grave every year.

Come to think of it, the 4th anniversary of granma's passing is in a few days' time. How quickly time flies by us. Didn't realize till now that she has been gone for 4 yrs. Which means 4 CNYs passed by without us going back to her place to celebrate & have her chicken curry for dinner. I used to detest going back to her hse coz of the heat & ltd space. Now, I'm kinda missing the good old times when the entire family would get together at that 1 time every year to spend a few days together. I remember how granma would slave away in her small hot kitchen for hours & hours, almost the entire day, to prepare dinner for us. I barely remember her out in the living hall with us. Her days are mostly spent in the kitchen.

No more of all tat now. This makes me realize the more how short life is & how I need to make the most of it every second & live to the fullest.

I will make the most of what I have & work towards my goals. We only live once, and there's no 'rewind' button in life, so I'm gonna make sure I work hard to where I aspire to be & do what I've always wanted to do.